Castle Coffee Consequences
by aimoon
Summary: Hermione has a coffee problem, and then other problems.


AN: Wrote this awhile ago. Don't like the ending, suggest a better one.

Disclaimer: Go ahead and sue me, I know a kid in law school. No really don't sue me.

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It was looking as if tonight was going to be another all-nighter. It would be smart to head down to the kitchens and get some coffee to help her stay awake. Hermione looked at the dormitory clock and saw her own hand pointed to "Headed for trouble". Not a good sign when one was contemplating sneaking out past curfew. Perhaps she didn't need the coffee, she had enough self control to stay awake without using stimulants, right?

An hour and a half later found Hermione waking up in a pool of her own drool, not so gracefully collapsed over the table where she had been studying Herbology. Ugh. If she was going to get this done and have time to start the extra credit for Prof. Sinistra, she would definitely need coffee. Screw that clock anyway, load of divination nonsense. Hermione decidedly did not look at it when she went up the stairs to the boys dormitory to borrow Harry's cloak. Nor did she look at the silly thing as she left the Gryffindor common room. Her hand was pointed to "In denial".

The castle at night was creepy. During the day Hermione was too busy to notice that Hogwarts was a castle first, and school second. It had all the traditional décor of a castle: suits of armor, animal heads and large, pointy weapons. This was mixed in with random bits of updates from the last 10 centuries. Altogether a disconcerting collection in the long shadows and colorless view Hermione had of it in the middle of the night. It was really too bad that Harry and Ron didn't feel the need to stay up studying with her. Company would make the creaking and shifting halls a little less scary.

_Get over it, Hermione, you still have lots of work to get done tonight. Get the coffee and get back to studying._ Her little chat with herself worked and she was making pretty good progress to the kitchens. Ten minutes saw her tickling a pear, inside the kitchens and removing the invisibility cloak.

Her sudden presence made a house elf carrying a large bundle of towels shriek and run in terror. One of the towels he threw up into the air even landed half onto Hermione's head.

Before she could try and calm the poor creature down, he was already round the corner positively screaming, "The Granger ! She gives us the clothes! " In less than a minute the once bustling rooms were quiet and completely still. Well, still and quiet after the crashing and screaming and general terror of a hundred house elves running like their little elf lives depended on it.

With a sigh, she set to boiling the water, pouring in the coffee and hunting for any chocolate she could add. It was another few minutes more before she could smell the coffee it was ready, she strained the black liquid into a cup and supplemented it with three good sized hunks of dark chocolate. The house elves hadn't made a sound in the whole time it took her to make the coffee. She hadn't even seen Dobby. Although, there was a good chance Dobby was being held down by a small mob of other house elves off in a back corner. This to keep him from getting any more clothes from her to be given out to his fellow elves. _Maybe I'll see him next time_, she thought as she left, mug in hand, under the invisibility cloak.

It is surprising how holding a mug of something warm can make even the spookiest of places seem not all-that-bad-really, even after the Bloody Baron popped out of the floor not two meters in front of her while practicing his sword play (while possibly making swooshing noises). However, right now, for her, Hogwarts at night really was all-that-bad-really. She should have listened to the clock.

Hermione wasn't the only one on that particular staircase and despite her being the brightest witch of her age she had forgotten that steam travels quite easily through cloth. Though the source of the steam was well hidden, as it turns out, steam outside an invisibility cloak is actually quite visible.

Snape could see the steam drifting from nowhere as it traveled up the staircase. Someone was up to something and he was going to find out all of his stealth he slowly caught up with his floating prey. He was unsure if this was a particularly good disillusionment charmed student or a ghost screwing with him. Considering how he had frightened most of the ghosts into leaving him alone, a rule-breaking student seemed a more likely alternative. Best to try and scare the piss out of whoever it was. Quietly, he pulled his wand out of his sleeve, aimed at the apparent source of the steam and shot a jet of sparks right at it.

Invisibility cloaks are just as flammable as ordinary cloaks, which Hermione found out when the one she was wearing caught fire. Alarmed she yanked the fiery mess of cloth off of her back, threw it on the floor and began stamping out the flames. The whole time quite oblivious to the man now standing next to her.

"Trouble, Miss Granger?"

Startled by someone else there next to her in the dark hallway, she reacted with the first jumpy instinct she had. She threw her coffee at him. Just then, clouds that had been blocking the moon parted, and there illuminated in the moonlight Hermione could see a drippy, fuming Professor Snape. Hermione's mind became full of repeated _Oh Shit, oh shit, oh shit._ He looked too furious for words, or at least complete sentences.

"Walk. Now."

He pointed a long arm back down the stairs, towards the dungeons. While he was _Evanenscoing _himself, she picked up Harry's cloak and hurried off in the direction he'd pointed. She could hear him mumbling behind her. What escaped his mouth was barely intelligible, especially when filtered through Hermione's fear-crazed mind. While warm coffee had made the castle look pleasanter by association with the hearty drink, Snape made the castle look positively cheery in comparison to his own dour countenance. Hermione figured the bodiless creatures on the walls had suffered less than she was sure she was going to.

The door to Snape's office slammed shut, making all of the jars of wiggly things on the walls dance. Perhaps it would have been funnier if her own toes didn't have a chance of making it into a jar. _Get a grip, this is a school, what's the worst he can do? He can't physically harm me, right? Right? _The look in his eyes as he jabbed a finger towards a small chair said otherwise.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Hermione stopped dead in a half squat, hovering over the chair.

"Sitting?" She half asked, not sure herself at this point. Snape's eyes rolled to the ceiling, he _almost_ looked amused. That, or she'd never seen that particular snarl.

"I mean, Miss. Granger, what could you possibly be thinking to go roaming the halls at this hour of night?"

Hermione was still crouching over the chair, unsure if she could sit and trying to think what excuse she could offer that would get her out of this mess. She wasn't feeling up to lying.

"Oh for Gods sakes, sit down you silly girl!"

This startled her into sitting, but her mouth was still stuck. This only gave him time to work himself up further into a tirade.

"Do you _think, _Miss Granger", he said softly, "that we ward this school, set curfews and hide the dormitories for our own amusement?"

Now she really wished she hadn't thrown the coffee at him, her brain was too tired to figure out what kind of trick question this was. Yes, she bloody well thought he amused himself with catching rule-breakers. She had enough sense not to say this out loud. He was irate enough already.

"Perhaps 'think' was too strong a word" he sneered when it became clear that Hermione wasn't as quick to answer questions while in trouble.

"Let me make this clear to you, since it is obvious now that you are as stubbornly arrogant as Potter, the rules are there for a reason. Even if you are not bright enough to understand those reasons, you will obey the rules anyway. Do you understand me?"

Oh she understood him alright. _This man is an absolute _git_. _She was Hermione Granger, brightest witch of her age, and it was about time he understood that. So she did what she had to, she hexed his hair purple.

" Let me make this clear to you, Professor Snape" she said as he grabbed a lank bit of hair in shock, "since it is obvious now that you are as stubbornly arrogant as you pretend Harry to be, I can take care of myself. Even if you're not bright enough to understand just how well I can take care of myself, you will respect my ability to do so anyway. Do you understand, _sir?"_

She didn't even wait for a reply, she marched right out of his office, leaving a purple-haired open-mouthed Severus Snape behind her. Gods she felt good. _I don't even think I need the coffee now._

Hermione never saw Snape following her the whole way back to her dorm. Whether she knew it or not, someone had to protect her.

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AN: like i said, suggest a better ending, i'm not terribly fond of this one.


End file.
